Shrink "Dean Martin"

MICHAEL DEES Shrink - Dean Martin SHRINK Ava, please send in my next patient.

DEAN How you doing Doc? SHRINK Great, How can I help you?

DEAN Well Doc, I’ve got a big problem, I think I’m Dean Martin, when I walked into your office, I bumped into Pat Boone on his way out. SHRINK Pat Boone, he’s one of my clients.

DEAN I said aren’t you Pat Boone? I introduced my self, shook his hand and my whole right side sobered up! SHRINK Glad to hear that. Ok where do we start. Let’s start from the beginning.

DEAN You know, I think it started when the Mayor of Beverly Hills put up a sign on my block, “Crawl and Don’t crawl.” I knew something was wrong. SHRINK That was nice of the mayor.

DEAN He is a nice guy, the Mayor, two day’s ago he brought me Candy, not chocolates but the girl from the X Rated Movie. SHRINK Well, do you drink a lot?

DEAN Not really, I put my favorite drink in the freezer, and after a few hours I eat it like a popsicle. DEES Please send in my next patient.

DINO How you doing doc. (Cigarette in Hand) DEES How can I help you today? How do you feel.

DINO To be honest Doc, I’ve got a huge problem, I think I’m Dean Martin. DEES Dean Martin?

DINO You know the other day, I don’t know why but the Mayor of Beverly Hills put up two signs on my block, Crawl and Don’t crawl. I knew right away something was wrong. DEES Well do you drink a lot?

DINO Not really I put my favorite drink in the freezer, and after a few hours I eat it like a Popsicle. DEES What does your wife think about your problem being Dean Martin.

DINO We had breakfast this morning my wife she gave me the silent treatment. We didn’t speak a single word, it’s all my son’s fault, he wasn’t holding the cue cards high enough. DEES Do you like being married?

DINO I love being married but I’m not a fanatic about it. DEES You must have a loving wife?

DINO You know what it means when you come home when there’s someone there to meet you with a hug, a kiss and a kind word, it means your in the wrong house. DEES Seems like you have a lot of problems being Dean Martin how do you sleep at night.

DINO Well the other night I didn’t get any sleep, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt something pretty hard under my pillow, the sidewalk. DEES Do you have any idea what time it was?

DINO You know Doc, I didn’t know what time it was I drank my watch. DEES Care to talk about any other problems?

DINO Yea, I saw my heart doctor the other day, I had a real bad chest cold. I told him I was having the chills, so he put me in a room with a woman that was having hot flashes. DEES I’m sure you love your wife and she loves you. Do you treat her well?

DINO Sure I do, the other day she asked me to look at some furs, so I took her to the Zoo. DEES Well let’s keep working on this problem. Your pal Dean Martin seems to have taken over you life.

DINO Welcome to my world Doc. DEES Well let’s keep meeting as often as possible, I know I can help you.

DINO Right Doc. You know, something in my heart keeps sayin, My some place is here.